September 5, 2007Grandparents and Grandchildren
> Grandparents and Grandchildren
> She was in the bathroom putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes
> >of her young granddaughter as she'd done many times before. After she
> >applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But
> >Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!"
> > My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He
> >asked me how old I was, and I told him, "62." He was quiet for a
> >moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"
> >After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old
> >slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard
> >the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew
> thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room,
> >putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she
> >heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"
> >A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own
> >childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing
> >made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our
> >pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The little girl was
> >wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd
> gotten to know you sooner!"
> >My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know
> >how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo while I asked,
> >"No, how are we alike?" "You're both old," he replied.
> >A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word
> >processor. She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he
> >asked. "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."
> >I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I
> >decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it
> >was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I
> continued. At last she headed for the door, saying sagely, "Grandma, I think you
> >should try to figure out some of these yourself!"
> >When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the
> >lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects.
> >Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did,
> >Billy whispered, "It's no use, Grandpa. The mosquitoes are coming after
> >us with flashlights."
> >When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not
> >sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised. "mine says I'm four to six."
> >A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother,
> >"Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The
> >grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool.
> >"That's interesting," she said, "how do you make babies?" "It's
> >simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."
> >Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a
> >teacher. One of the small boys wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder
> >pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant
> means?" she asked. "Sure," said the young boy confidently. "It means carrying a child."
> >A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids
> >home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat
> >of the truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties.
> >"They use him to keep crowds back," said one child. "No," said another, "he's just for good luck."
> >A third child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs,"
> >she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants...